I can remember going to school with black eyes, fractured ribs, stitches from stab wounds, bite marks and etc. Whenever I came to school like that no one said anything to me. He would walk over to me and say who did that to you? He acted as if he did not remember what he had done. People would ask him what happened to me and he would say he did not know and that they need to ask me. I could not believe my ears. In front of everyone he made it seem as if we were not together as a couple but when were alone it was all about me. He used me for everything that he could. Money, sex and anything else he could think of.

I eventually decided to change something about my life. I applied to college and was accepted. It was not easy for me to go to school because he did everything to stop me from going. He would hide my books, book bag and money so I could not go. I can remember one situation where he came to school and pulled me out of class. He punched me in the face, causing my eye to blacken and lips to swell so I could not go to school. I refused to stop.

What really woke me up to my problems is when he walked into the house after being out all night. I asked him where he was and he told me that it was none of my business. We started to argue. The next thing I knew I was being hit with an iron in my face. He knocked me out cold. At that point I was in and out of consciousness. He continued to beat me with his fist and stomping me. When he felt he was done he ran out of the house and left town. The next day my mother walked in and she was not able to recognize me because my face was so disfigured. She asked me what the hell I did to him to make him beat me like he did. I could not believe what she was saying to me so I ignored her. She basically took his side by the way she was acting. I could not go through that again. Once again I felt so alone. We stayed apart for sometime but that did not stop him from trying to control my life. He had a girlfriend so I finally decided to find me someone to spend my time with. He tried to mess things up for me whenever he thought that I was happy.

Just when I thought things were getting better I fell back into the same situation. In 2001, I allowed him to move in with me. Once again things went great for a while and then things changed. He started to stay out for days with other little girls. I did not suspect anything because I was too busy going to school and working. The fighting continued on for a few weeks. I couldn't take it anymore. I asked him to leave when the women started calling my home for him. I couldn't understand how and why they were calling me when they had who and what they wanted. One day he came to my house and asked if we could try to make things better for the children's sake? I thought about it for a couple of days then he would stay in the house, help me with the children and actually be there for me when I needed him.

One night I had decided to go out with his cousin to a party at the fire house. I told him that the children were staying with his parents and I would be back in the house around 2:00 a.m. He said fine and he would be in the house by the time I got back home. I went to his cousin to pick her up. Something told me to call the little girl house just to see if he was really messing with her. She answered the phone and I asked what was going on in their relationship and she stated they were a couple. She also said that he was at her house. I went to her house. When I got there I asked her to go get him she sent her father. She made it clear that they had just finished having sex and he was probably sleeping. When he came out he attacked me. He started to yell, telling me to get back in my truck and leave. We argued for a minute or so, and then he jumped in my truck and started to drive off. I was hanging on the door so that he wouldn't leave and go anywhere. He drove the truck a half a block away, jumped out threw my keys and punched me in my face. I started to beat him in his face at this time he did everything not to hit me back. Blood was everywhere it was coming from my mouth and his face. The next thing I knew he ran. I went to look for my keys.

Once I found my keys I drove to his parent's house to look for his cousin to see if we were still going out. I was upset but by this time all I wanted to do is drink and have fun. She decided not to go anywhere with me. At that point it really didn't matter because he had walked up and said that he was going to the police and press charges on me. I didn't care. I told him that we might as well go together. I started to walk around the truck and the next thing I felt his fist punching my in my face. I blacked out for a second or so and when I woke up I felt him stomping me in my head and face. I started to scream to get anybody's attention so I could get some help. No one came. I know that there were a lot of people out there but they refused to help me. He picked me up and took me to my house. He threw me on the floor in the living room and began to finish what he started. He beat me for hours. It was one kick after another. He kicked me in my face, stomach, head and legs. I endured so much pain the entire night. To make things even worse he then wanted to have sex and when I refused he torn my clothes off and raped me. I kept saying no, the more I said no the more it seemed like he wanted more. He choked me to shut me up. I could remember looking at the clock all through the night. Thinking to myself he has to get tired sometime. After the sex was over he sat across from me saying that he's going to jail because he knew that I was going to press charges. He kept the phone in his hand all night. The more he talked I saw it in his face that it wasn't over yet. He started punching me in my face and head again. I fell in and out of consciousness. I was praying to God that it would be over soon. He got up to go to the bathroom and I tried to run out of the house but before I got to the door he caught me and the beating started again. He eventually began to get tired. He directed me to the bedroom and told me to go to sleep. We went to sleep for an hour or so because every time I moved he looked right into my eye. The next morning the children came home. I couldn't let them see my face. It was so disfigured I looked like the elephant man. He closed the bedroom door and told the children that I was still sleeping. He came back into the room to talk to me. I got up when he sat in the middle of my bed and told me I deserved everything that happened to me. He said that I should have known that he had someone else because everyone else knew. The hurt that was going through was is a pain that I would not wish on my worse enemy. I eventually healed.

Winter came and I started working and I chose once again that I wanted to continue with my education and worked towards my bachelor's degree. In 2004, I received my degree in philosophy with a concentration in Pre-law.

I can go on and on about my experiences of mental and physical abuse, neglect, molestation, rape and mistreatment that I have experienced in my short years on this earth. This website is setup to help those that might be going through or have gone through the same situations. Just to let many people know that there is life after all of this. Some would say to me how I survived all the abuse and I answer by the GRACE OF GOD. It was my faith in Christ that guided me through all the hurt and pain and He will continue to guide me. There is more to tell but I just wanted to let other know that there help. The hardest part is taking the first step and asks for it.